DEMONOID IS BACK OMFG YEAH.

music: Queensryche - Silent Lucidity

If anyone is interested, here is a paper I wrote on whether or not Islamic democracy of a type is possible, but fair warning, it is a terrible sophomoronic effort, even if I got an A on it.

music: Stray Cats - Rock This Town tags: jira_rd

Oh man, I'm rewatching all of Eddie Izzard's 7 shows so I will likely be posting a lot of quotes.

tags: jira_rd

Sooooo! It's picspam time of Beth! Through the years! Before she turned wicked ugly. No actual order of them, just as I scanned them in.

( Oh man, and it's a big picspam )

Ohhhhh my god. *squeals*

At work tonight, a girl brought a very drunk boy in and tried to check him in. We knew right away he wasn't getting in, since she was holding him up and telling him to print his name, all you have to do is print, and we called ISU PD to make sure he was okay, and while we were doing this, we didn't notice, but

HE PISSED ALL OVER HIMSELF AND THE FLOOR

and oh my GOD.

*twitch* That was an hour long ordeal I could have done without. It was also a first for all the people involved. We had NEVER run into this before.

Well, since "Skittles" and I have been talking about penis molds... we have decided for my 21st birthday, I should get a basket full of nothing but edible things. All shaped like penii.

We already discussed penis molds for chocolate, and there are penis suckers, and penis pasta. And we have LINKS. And oh my god I want a basket of penis things. ((I'm sure a few boob-shaped things wouldn't be bad either, but penises are funnier.))

Penis suckers
Penis cakes, jello shots, and pasta
eta: PENIS-SHAPED MARTINI GLASSES THAT LIGHT UP OH GOD MUST HAVE.
eta2: GIANT BLOW-UP PENIS.

My mother is telling me that this isn't funny! I find this hilarious.

DRACO, RIONA.

THE THREE OF US NEED TO HAVE AN RPG GOING. IN WHICH WE HAVE A MASSIVE CROSSOVER WHERE WE ALL PLAY A CHARACTER FROM TOP GEAR AND SOMEONE PLAYS STIG AND WE INCLUDE POKEMON AND HOUSE AND STARGATE AND ANY OTHER SHOW THAT CAN BE INCLUDED.

Y/Y

ILUGUYZ.

So, I just uploaded my Christmas photos and my new hair ((Green AND Blue!))

( Image heavy )

tckma and I rule.

Poll #1072906 Beth needs help on NaNoWriMo!
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

How many novels should I attempt to write in November?

I already have one fully formed plot - a boy discovers he can control water and psychic energies, and he enters a war.

I've got another one, a girl wants to be a jockey and it covers her from age 12 to 16, or maybe I'll make it a series.

Should I try to write a different or another novel than these three in November?

If I do an unplanned novel, how should I do it? (I'm partial to the second option here)

Anything else? Leave comments here

ETA!: That one question should read "Should I try to write more than these TWO novels".

So, I was eating pocky, and somehow, the mentioning of RealDolls came up. I don't know how, but it did.

Somehow, we got to discussing RealDolls and their prices and such, and then, again, I do not remember HOW we got onto this topic, something about jizz moppers, but we jokingly mentioned something about brothels and then I added something about a RealDoll brothel.

...

It went DOWNHILL FROM THERE OMG. DED NOW.

So, me and Ken start cracking up and joking about it, and we're trying to figure out pricing of the dolls and such and if people would actually ... come ... hah, to use the dolls. I decide to add up how much it would cost, and then see if you could make a profit off it.

So I whip out my calculator and start doing costs. A doll is 6,500 dollars. I figured we'd get two to start out with, work with rotating shifts, and maybe get a discount if we were lucky, and save a thousand. So that's twelve thousand dollars down the drain.

Plus, we'd need a building. Loans, and hopefully have some money or get money from friends, and just hope to pay it off quickly also. So we don't know how much to estimate for that, and any information on that would be appreciated.

... I can't believe I asked for this information.

Then we were going, "How much a night?" I suggested a flat fee of 50 dollars for oral, 100 for sex, and 150 for anal, but cut that down to 25, 50, and 60 respectively. Then Ken said we should charge for time slots of 15 minute increments. We then decided to go by every minute was five dollars, since most people aren't going to last for 15 minutes even.

The last bit WORKED. We figured that out and we were pleased. We figure we'd open at 10 AM and go until 4 AM the next day. Hopefully we could get some regulars and we figured that we could make hopefully somewhere around 2,750 in a day and night's work if we were lucky.

Then we went on to say we would charge a dollar for condoms, since you'd DEFINITELY have to use one, and there would be a three dollar ... entry ... hah, fee. We would sell porn for about 40 bucks, or rent it out for 5 bucks and charge 2 dollars per day a late fee, and then after two weeks, you'd BUY the damn movie.

We put together a list of "toys" that could be bought, and priced them, and did guesstimates on who would buy what and how many and such, as we had been with all of this before, and estimated the information on that. The toys ranged anywhere from 7 bucks to 60, and perhaps if they wanted a costume, 100, but I don't see many costume buyers.

Then it moved to other things we'd sell, like shot glasses that say "I SHOT at the RealDolls Brothel" or something. And PLUSHIES of the dolls OMG. :D CUTEST IDEA EVER. Especially of ANNA MAE HAHAH ANIME.

Yeah, I just got that. Sorry.

We would charge a dollar for a towel since we'd have showers hopefully in the back to wash up in. Then we factored in assorted other things like employee payments, and the idea of opening up a "restaurant/bar" type thing that would be run by a dominatrix stripper or something. It would be kinda a seedy restaurant but what do you expect from a high class sex shop, basically?

Then I mentioned that we could have the office/apartment on a top floor or in back or something, and we could take turns sleeping there, and work 9 hour shifts and such, and I could be notified if someone wanted a massage during my time off. And then we did taxes and everything, and if we did this math correctly, after about 40-45 years, we hopefully should have made about 3 million between us and such. I shouldn't be laughing this hard.

So yeah, then we would expand with more dolls and such, and maybe have like, a time frame if you were an exhibitionist and had a friend who was a voyeurist and you wanted to have a room for that, you could, or you could just show up and hope we had a voyeurist or exhibitionist to help you out with your "situation".

Since Ken is thinking about going into paralegal, and Zach is doing economics, basically, we decided maybe this could work. And I mean, we went from joking to actually THINKING about this shit, but I thought we were still joking, and then it got to the point where WE WERE SERIOUS. If we can't find a job that we could live off by the time we're 30, we are going ALL IN.

... I said "all in", hahahah. See, after a while, we couldn't say "they'll come to visit" or "they'll enter the building" or anything like that, because we'd start pulling a Beavis and Butthead. Goddamn it. :P Then Josh came out and became terrified, as did Craig, and Tim, and I don't know what Donnie thinks of this.

BUT DUDE A REALDOLL BROTHEL WOULD BE AWESOME YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS IDEA FROM US OMG WE WANT IT.

And if we ever get famous, rly, we will have a documentary made about us and do interviews, and write that book called "How The Hell Did We Get Rich Off This Shit?" and it will be glorious. We spent 2 HOURS thinking about this. I LOVE MYSELF.

Who would you want as your RealDoll?

Leah - http://realdoll.com/sample1.asp
Stephanie - http://realdoll.com/sample2.asp
Tami - http://realdoll.com/sample3.asp
Celine - http://realdoll.com/sample5.asp
Stacy - http://realdoll.com/sample6.asp
Mai - http://realdoll.com/sample7.asp
Nika - http://realdoll.com/sample8.asp
Angela - http://realdoll.com/sample10.asp
Jenny - http://realdoll.com/sample11.asp
Britney - http://realdoll.com/sample12.asp
Anna Mae - http://realdoll.com/sample13.asp
Kaori - http://realdoll.com/imagedll64/kaori/kaori006.jpg
Rui - http://realdoll.com/sample15.asp

ETA: WE HAVE AT LEAST TWO EMPLOYEES.

ETA2: WE HAVE MORE.

Hostesses - jira_rd and Ken.
Gift Shop Workers - jynacide, amandathegreat, and Amy.
Jizz Moppers - nijiro and one more needed.
Janitors - At least two needed.
Video Watcher - tubofgoodthings?
(In)Human Resources - agirlwithavoice
Security - hajiomatic
Voice Over for Kaori - owlgrey
Bartender/Stripper - Tracy
Hidden Blackmail Camera Girl - elaryn

Me and Ken - I DON'T KNOW YET. UHM. WE'LL SEE.
Gift Shop Girls, ya'll are getting about 9 bucks an hour.
Jizz Moppers, you're getting 10.
Janitors, you'll be getting probably 7 bucks. ((Hey, you ain't touching the come, you're just unloading boxes and such, and cleaning up the rooms a bit, which you can do with a mop to avoid the come that's on the floor))
Video Watcher - You'd be in charge of watching over the cameras we would have in the rooms to ensure that nobody was doing anything illegal to the dolls. They would know ahead of time that they were being taped.
Security - 7.50 an hour sound good?
Voice Over - ???
Bartender/Stripper - SHAKE DAT ASS.
Hidden Blackmail Camera Girl - Uh. Well, for the regular videotaping, I suppose 8.50? and then the blackmailing and such, we will give you cookies to not show!